It is an unfortunate truth that as I grow older, the more things begin to frighten me. The first real fear that I faced, along with every child, is the dark, sleeping alone. Then that fear manifested itself again at the first day of school, when I was nudged through the doors into a terrifying journey to independence. Eventually, however, in an ironic twist of human wit or divine mandate, humans come to cherish that independence, even establishing it as the foundational rock of their worldview. However, it is now, at the wisdom of the 20 years of life, that I’ve begun to see independence with suspicion, convinced that this mentality only spurs conflicts.

We live in a world that is coming together not just technological or economically, but I suspect, also spiritually. Despite all the growth of ecumenical councils and watered-down religious liberalism and acceptance, there remains necessary boundaries within religions. Should I forsake the sound doctrines of my youth for the new, attractive with its shiny package? Regardless I believe that the Spirit, however you wish to define it, is moving that we are gradually reaching that omega point foretold by de Chardin, that our lives are being meshed into a culmination with the union of human beings, those who are of the Kingdom. The evidence is all around us, the globalization of the world community, the interpersed repulsions and attractions of various countries, down to the individual, and even further, down to our very molecules and atoms where forces of attraction (love) still play. Then it becomes necessary that independence from God, independence from people, independence from creation becomes nothing more than sin. We cannot afford to become automatons in this converging world, we must learn to become Christ to others. That we might give up our lives for others, with every other being working for the betterment of another, that is the beauty. Vainly humankind tried to do this with its own futile knowledge, experimenting with Communism, but Scriptures prove correct when it says that "their hearts were darkened and their minds left for futile thinking because they refused to acknowledge God." Then we see the Spirit working in way that humans cannot, evolving humans in ways that are impossible to the flesh. Rather, we see a spiritual evolution of Christians everywhere. That the marks of evolution may not be evinced by phenotypical traits, but rather through the fruits of their spirit. That these are the marks of the Christian, the "superman," the image of Christ becoming more and more impressed unto our very souls.

The fears that I face are, I admit in my vain conceit, cosmological. Grown in a somewhat Christian household, I’ve clung unto the words of the Book, “The first step to wisdom is fear of the Lord.” But it has become more apparent that I fear the disappointment of my family more, especially from my father. Attending Princeton University only cemented his belief in my future greatness, however it morphs itself from doctor, lawyer, or engineer. As I began to submit to the call of God, I became acutely sensitive to his worries that, heaven forbid, I might become a missionary or a theological scholar. At this point and time, I am not mature enough to bite and push back, but when the Lord calls me, I will leave. I am convinced our world needs to be redeemed of its poverty, its loneliness, its spiritual depravity, and its narcissistic tendencies.