Bleh

On Christ the solid rock I stand; All other ground is sinking sand!

I wish that this line was true in my life.

Hymns and old slave spirituals resonate because they acknowledge the reality of loss while bridging it with coming glory. In this manner, they reflect the height of the cross, much more than songs like.. (In the secret, in the quiet place... this song in particular, if you took it out of its 'Christian' context, comes out remarkably, and frighteningly, stalker-ish. We're not stalking Jesus here, people.)

With that said, I am still deeply struggling with the problems that come from faith, or at least, the faith as I have known it. Cutting theological questions lacking satisfactory answers push me away from simply the experiential and the superficially-intellectual satisfying faith I've known in my early college years. The more I think of it, the more I am inclined to say that faith cannot be systematic, but rather has to exist at the phenomenological level then proceed very cautiously theological level; it is no use flattening scripture into a synchronic medium, but each book needs to be explored for its own theological intent, building on the historical moment which founded its existence in the first place. (Ah! I said it!) That said, I am tired of patching holes in this theological house of cards that I've built or others have built for me, with its leaky rooftop.

But can I attest to God's goodness? Yes! To his supernatural nature and his power to save? Of course! Of his working in people's hearts? Take my own life as an example! But then the problem lies again, what is that bridge from the head-knowledge and my heart-knowledge? Why are they so disjunctive?

Apparently, very many scholars have written very many books on these topics already. (A side note, when I was younger I used to wish that I could read and comprehend books simply by touching them. Of course, I would balance this wish out with the necessary precautions and consequences; if I had touch-read too many books, I would have to sleep for many hours) Unfortunately, they come second. Doubly unfortunately, if a freshmen should ask me where I stand theologically, I would be at a complete loss to say much with much conviction. I could, however, point to testimonies (mine and other's) which are more phenomenological than filled with a retrospective-process of meaning-making. (Big words! Oh no!)

On a happy note, it was James An's (my roommate's) birthday today! He is 23! So Old!

Want to (re)read list: Exclusion & Embrace; Postscript to Philosophical Fragments; Being and Time; Barthes Church Doctrine

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Let's start a band!